Single on Valentine’s Day…AGAIN.

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So it’s that time of year again, the Christmas buzz is over, the New Year hype has fizzled out and it’s on to the next money making holiday, Valentine’s Day.  Now don’t get it twisted I’m not one of those bitter, single women that hates this particular holiday because I just happen to be single (I know a shocker right, I so should’ve been snapped up by now lol), I actually love the idea of celebrating love, love more than anything else should be celebrated. However, I do despise the fact that couples spend stupid amounts of money to express their love on one day. (Dang my future Mr better pull out the stops for me everyday…just kidding.) Seriously though, I think love is something that should be celebrated all the time. When I do get into a relationship I really don’t want to be showered with gifts on one day and then question on all the other 364 days of the year whether my Mr actually gives a damn.  Yes, I get that Valentine’s Day is a day to focus on your love and that’s fine, beautiful and wonderful but don’t break the bank (like you did at Christmas) to express your love. What a waste to wait for one day, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed people.

If you’ve been following me for a while now you’ll have read the post I wrote last year around this same time, if you haven’t you can read it here.  Not much has really changed, except my age of course but I am still single and still very much a Christian.  In that post I shared how I deal with my singlehood at this stage in life, like I said nothing much has changed, what I’m doing is still working and helping me on this journey.  However, more of my friends have either recently just got engaged or are having their first or second baby.  I can now confirm that I am able to count on one hand how many close, non married girlfriends I have and it’s not five.  Because I said I would always be honest in my posts, I have to admit that it does bother me SOMETIMES, especially at this time of year.  It’s like man, I’m here again, sometimes I feel like the world is literally moving all around me and I am stuck in the same place, in this particular area of my life anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I am ecstatic for my friends; I love them and I have walked the singlehood journey with a few of them so my joy at their news is the same as if it were me.

In this post I just wanted to encourage my single sisters out there who hate this time of year, who get pangs of jealousy when flowers arrive at the office for their co-worker, who hate that they are staying in eating a microwave dinner (take this time to learn to cook) when the world is eating out at Marco Pierre Whites, or who are fed up of going to a bed IMG_4029alone. I want to say I understand.  That’s it. I feel your frustration and I can relate to your loneliness, but never forget your value and worth is not determined by whether you receive diamonds, flowers or chocolates on one day of the year. Those things don’t equate to how special you are, you are special because you are YOU!

If you never receive a rose in your life does that mean you aren’t loved? Of course not! Also within 24 to 48 hours the shops will start preparing for Easter, I can survive 48 hours of seeing my friend’s posts on Facebook and Instagram of the plethora of gifts they have received lol. However, if it really bothers you go and buy yourself something nice; why are you waiting on a guy to treat you like the queen and awesome woman that you are?  You deserve it, you’re worth it and most importantly you’re loved by you. Regardless as to whether you have a faith or not, you need to accept and love you first before anyone else can come and love you.  I saw this video after I finished writing this post, it is so good I had to share.  Guys, this is for you too :).

So, whatever you are doing this Valentine’s Day, let’s take the opportunity to simply spread love to the people around us. Whether you have a significant other or not there is always someone that needs to know they are loved, valued and special.

For me I know it’s only a matter of time but as I actively wait, I’m enjoying being showered with love by the best man that ever came into my life, Jesus. He exemplifies what true and unconditional love is so my love tank is always full, although a Mr would be nice to share that love tank with…just saying.

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Happy Valentine’s Day! xoxo

 

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Uncertainty

One of the reasons I decided to have a blog was so that I could openly share my struggles and that of other women who I know or come across as I live my life’s journey.  One thing I always seek to do is be honest with myself and where I am in my journey.

One thing that I believe I have become very good at and I now pride myself on, is being self-aware; sometimes too self-aware.  Recently I have began to really access and examine how I’m feeling in any give moment.  I find that when I do that I am better able to take action without having an irrational reaction to my situation.  During one of my self examinations I realised how much I really struggle with NOT knowing.  I hate lack of communication from others which would greatly help with my anxiety, I hate not knowing how things are going to work out (although I’m confident they will), I simply just hate not knowing.  I bet as you’re reading this you’re thing ‘gosh woman, what a control freak.’ There is probably an element of truth in that, however, for the most part I am totally fine and happy to not be in control in the doing as long as I know what is happening. I know, weird and possibly contradictory but that’s how I feel and it makes sense to me lol.

I’m being very vulnerable here and I’m sharing something that I probably would never admit, especially as Christian and that is deep down I lack faith. I know how to act like I have it and the relevant actions I need take to make it look like I have faith, but according to my own self assessment I don’t.  The Bibles definition of faith in Hebrews 11 is true and as a Christian this is the ultimate truth of what faith is.  I’m not sure if this is the same thing or if the two are connected, but in regards to uncertainty this quote by theologian, Richard Roar perfectly articulates what I am trying to say:

“My scientist friends have come up with things like principles of uncertainty and dark holes.  They are willing to live inside imagined hypothesis and theories but many religious folks insist on answers that are always true.  We love closure, resolution and clarity while thinking we are people of faith; how very strange that the word faith has come to mean its exact opposite.”

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As I live this life, make mistakes, grow and learn, I know that I need to become confident in knowing that I don’t need to know everything right away.  More importantly I can be confident in knowing that I have someone that is with me that knows all things and in that truth I can have total faith and certainty.

Leancia 🙂 x

Daring Greatly

I’ve done this a number of times now and I’m not going to lie and say it’s all been peaches and cream; it hasn’t always paid off. But, the times when it has have been the most liberating and rewarding for myself and others. Refuse to shrink, be your brilliant self and choose to ‘Dare Greatly.’

Thank you Brene Brown 🙂 x

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