Uncertainty

One of the reasons I decided to have a blog was so that I could openly share my struggles and that of other women who I know or come across as I live my life’s journey.  One thing I always seek to do is be honest with myself and where I am in my journey.

One thing that I believe I have become very good at and I now pride myself on, is being self-aware; sometimes too self-aware.  Recently I have began to really access and examine how I’m feeling in any give moment.  I find that when I do that I am better able to take action without having an irrational reaction to my situation.  During one of my self examinations I realised how much I really struggle with NOT knowing.  I hate lack of communication from others which would greatly help with my anxiety, I hate not knowing how things are going to work out (although I’m confident they will), I simply just hate not knowing.  I bet as you’re reading this you’re thing ‘gosh woman, what a control freak.’ There is probably an element of truth in that, however, for the most part I am totally fine and happy to not be in control in the doing as long as I know what is happening. I know, weird and possibly contradictory but that’s how I feel and it makes sense to me lol.

I’m being very vulnerable here and I’m sharing something that I probably would never admit, especially as Christian and that is deep down I lack faith. I know how to act like I have it and the relevant actions I need take to make it look like I have faith, but according to my own self assessment I don’t.  The Bibles definition of faith in Hebrews 11 is true and as a Christian this is the ultimate truth of what faith is.  I’m not sure if this is the same thing or if the two are connected, but in regards to uncertainty this quote by theologian, Richard Roar perfectly articulates what I am trying to say:

“My scientist friends have come up with things like principles of uncertainty and dark holes.  They are willing to live inside imagined hypothesis and theories but many religious folks insist on answers that are always true.  We love closure, resolution and clarity while thinking we are people of faith; how very strange that the word faith has come to mean its exact opposite.”

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As I live this life, make mistakes, grow and learn, I know that I need to become confident in knowing that I don’t need to know everything right away.  More importantly I can be confident in knowing that I have someone that is with me that knows all things and in that truth I can have total faith and certainty.

Leancia 🙂 x

The Struggle of A Christian Entrepreneur Part 2

God v business

If you haven’t read part one you can do so here.

Being an entrepreneur is not for the faint hearted, especially when you are in the minority. The majority of the population are living according to the world’s system, which says a 9-5 job is the best and only way to live and have security.  Now, before you accuse me of bashing those that work a 9-5, take a breath. I have worked since the age of 14 doing various jobs including cleaning, retail and silver service.  I would be up at 5:00am ready to go and clean offices and toilets, with my aunt, for two hours every day before heading to school.  I understand what it means to work, and for all of my adult life I have worked a 9-5 job; I’m definitely not against hard work. However, I am against working hard at a job that you are not passionate about or that has nothing to do with what you are passionate about, for the sake of having security or out of fear. If you are doing a 9-5 job, you love it, it’s your dream and you believe that it is what you were put on earth to do, then wonderful! I truly mean that, keep doing what you’re doing. I just know that a 9-5 is not for me, I need the time and financial freedom to do what God is calling me to do and I know that a 9-5 job is not going to allow me to do that.untitled (8)

You see, just because we (entrepreneurs) don’t stand in a pulpit or quote Bible verses on Facebook, does not make us any less spiritual or passionate about our relationship with God.  If anything because of this my relationship with God has deepened; I recognise my need for him even more and my responsibility to keep him first and a priority. Like I said, if you have known me long enough, you will know that my purpose and passion has always been to do missions work and to encourage women all over the world.  The fact that I now have the opportunity to do so, and self-fund myself as an entrepreneur with this company, is an open door from God. The fact that I can also bless my friends and family by saving them money on 4 & 5* dream vacations/holidays, if they choose to take advantage of it, is a bonus.

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1) I Make time for God. I wake up every morning at 5:00am to spend time seeking God and then I plan my days activities. The network marketing industry in particular, is tough and can be self consuming.  This is the most important part of my day. God first!

2) Spend time with family and friends when possible. When you are focused on your dream everyone won’t understand the amount of time you put into it and may even think you don’t care about them anymore.  Yes, work hard and stay focused but do your best to also make time for those you care about even if it’s one day. If your family and friends really know you they will understand and even support you.  Keep the doors of communication open.

3) Surround yourself with people on the same mission as you and with those that encourage and believe in you;

4) Manage your time wisely. If it’s not taking you closer to your purpose or dream becoming a reality, why are you doing it? As I write this I am going into my second week of watching no television (a big sacrifice for me lol). However, me watching television is not getting me any closer to my dream. This applies to relationships and any other social activities.

5) Have a day off (even God rested);

6) Stay focused, NEVER quit and work hard.

I appreciate that not all of my followers are Christians. This post is really to encourage all of us to make sure that whatever we’re doing we are doing it for the right reasons. Whether you have a faith or not, the intention of every human heart should be to serve and give to others and not for selfish gain. Even if our purposes differ we should respect and honour the call of God on each other’s lives and even go a step further and show support and interest. Ultimately everything I do is to bring glory to God. That is, and always will be, my first intention and goal.

imagesK6DX36A3If you’re an entrepreneur, I salute you because it’s not easy. If you are a female entrepreneur, big kudos to you for doing everything else that is expected of a woman and still finding the time to run a business. If you are a faith-believing, female entrepreneur, in the network marketing industry, I bow down to you lol. If your experience is anything like mine, I know it’s not easy. But I commend you for going against the tide, being brave enough to stand alone sometimes and committing to the purpose, vision and dream God has placed on your life.

Are you a female entrepreneur? Do you find that there is conflict between your faith and your Network Marketing business? Has your experience been positive or negative? How do you balance everything? I’d love to hear your feedback, please comment below.

Leancia 🙂 x

Fatherless child, fatherless woman

father

In the UK today there are approximately two million single mothers, that’s at least two million children growing up without a father figure in their home; I was one of those children.

Not so long ago I would’ve been called a ‘bastard’ child because my mother was not married and to throw a spanner in the works she was also,a teenager when I was born. I didn’t think it was strange that my mom and I lived with my grandparents and uncle, it was all I knew; this was my family. During those formative years I can count the number of times that I saw my father; the only men I really knew were my uncle and grandfather. I just need to say that these men are my heroes and the first examples of men that I saw; I honour them for their love, guidance and example.

It was in my teenage years that I started to become aware of the impact that my absent father had on me. Yes, my uncle and grandfather were around often, but it wasn’t the same. When I heard my friends talk about their dads and the things they did as a family, I started to realise that my family wasn’t that ‘normal’ after all. I can’t say that I missed him, because it’s hard to miss someone that was never in your life to begin with; what I missed was the idea of having a dad in my home. The idea of having a dad who would sit me on his knee and tell me how special and beautiful I was, who would take me to the park and pick me up from school. It was these experiences that my friends had and I saw on TV, that I never had the opportunity to experience. My mom was and still is my greatest example of a woman that is willing to sacrifice for others. She has the most generous, loving and hospitable heart. Only a strong woman can do that without resentment or bitterness, I honour her more than any other. However, she is not my father, she is my mother and that is what she is supposed to be.

I became a Christian when I was 14 years old even though I was at church every Sunday with my grandmother. It was at this time that I began to understand that I wasn’t a fatherless child and that God was a very real and present father that loved me unconditionally. However, although I was beginning to understand this, it was hard for me to experience and accept what it meant in reality. Let’s keep it real, I couldn’t see him with my physical eyes and He couldn’t exactly walk me down the aisle when I got married; it just wasn’t real enough for me.

I have always wanted to know what it would be like to have the protection of a father, to be able to say: “I’m going to get my Dad and he’ll beat up your dad” but I never could. I think that most little girls would say they want or wanted their dad to protect and look out for them. As I grew older the need for someone to protect and care for me slowly became unnecessary. My attitude was I have lived this long without a constant male figure in my life I don’t need one now, even though this was what I craved. For me personally the rejection I felt from my father’s absence influenced how I related to men in relationships; I would become very needy and any hint of rejection would literally devastate me, I just didn’t know how to relate to men in a positive and healthy way. I believed that it was my responsibility to make them happy and please them so that they would not leave.

It is only because of the grace and love of God that I can say that I am stronger, not needy and more secure in the love that my father God has for me. There are times when I still long for the hug from a father or simply a male friend. Men and fathers I ask and encourage you to protect and cover the women you know; if you are a Christian understand that we need our male friends to be examples of godly men that know how to honour, respect and protect us without a hidden agenda. I have learnt to accept the love of my heavenly father and ultimately realise that he can meet all my needs. I have started the process of forgiving my natural father and do not blame him for the decisions I’ve made in my life (I am not a victim).

My hope is that you too will know the unconditional, unwavering and lavishing love of father God because the truth is HE really does love YOU. I have been on a long journey to understand with my mind and embrace with my heart the truth that I was never a fatherless child and I am not fatherless woman.

That’s why He is my Lord 🙂 xx