Uncertainty

One of the reasons I decided to have a blog was so that I could openly share my struggles and that of other women who I know or come across as I live my life’s journey.  One thing I always seek to do is be honest with myself and where I am in my journey.

One thing that I believe I have become very good at and I now pride myself on, is being self-aware; sometimes too self-aware.  Recently I have began to really access and examine how I’m feeling in any give moment.  I find that when I do that I am better able to take action without having an irrational reaction to my situation.  During one of my self examinations I realised how much I really struggle with NOT knowing.  I hate lack of communication from others which would greatly help with my anxiety, I hate not knowing how things are going to work out (although I’m confident they will), I simply just hate not knowing.  I bet as you’re reading this you’re thing ‘gosh woman, what a control freak.’ There is probably an element of truth in that, however, for the most part I am totally fine and happy to not be in control in the doing as long as I know what is happening. I know, weird and possibly contradictory but that’s how I feel and it makes sense to me lol.

I’m being very vulnerable here and I’m sharing something that I probably would never admit, especially as Christian and that is deep down I lack faith. I know how to act like I have it and the relevant actions I need take to make it look like I have faith, but according to my own self assessment I don’t.  The Bibles definition of faith in Hebrews 11 is true and as a Christian this is the ultimate truth of what faith is.  I’m not sure if this is the same thing or if the two are connected, but in regards to uncertainty this quote by theologian, Richard Roar perfectly articulates what I am trying to say:

“My scientist friends have come up with things like principles of uncertainty and dark holes.  They are willing to live inside imagined hypothesis and theories but many religious folks insist on answers that are always true.  We love closure, resolution and clarity while thinking we are people of faith; how very strange that the word faith has come to mean its exact opposite.”

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As I live this life, make mistakes, grow and learn, I know that I need to become confident in knowing that I don’t need to know everything right away.  More importantly I can be confident in knowing that I have someone that is with me that knows all things and in that truth I can have total faith and certainty.

Leancia 🙂 x

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The Struggle of A Christian Entrepreneur Part 2

God v business

If you haven’t read part one you can do so here.

Being an entrepreneur is not for the faint hearted, especially when you are in the minority. The majority of the population are living according to the world’s system, which says a 9-5 job is the best and only way to live and have security.  Now, before you accuse me of bashing those that work a 9-5, take a breath. I have worked since the age of 14 doing various jobs including cleaning, retail and silver service.  I would be up at 5:00am ready to go and clean offices and toilets, with my aunt, for two hours every day before heading to school.  I understand what it means to work, and for all of my adult life I have worked a 9-5 job; I’m definitely not against hard work. However, I am against working hard at a job that you are not passionate about or that has nothing to do with what you are passionate about, for the sake of having security or out of fear. If you are doing a 9-5 job, you love it, it’s your dream and you believe that it is what you were put on earth to do, then wonderful! I truly mean that, keep doing what you’re doing. I just know that a 9-5 is not for me, I need the time and financial freedom to do what God is calling me to do and I know that a 9-5 job is not going to allow me to do that.untitled (8)

You see, just because we (entrepreneurs) don’t stand in a pulpit or quote Bible verses on Facebook, does not make us any less spiritual or passionate about our relationship with God.  If anything because of this my relationship with God has deepened; I recognise my need for him even more and my responsibility to keep him first and a priority. Like I said, if you have known me long enough, you will know that my purpose and passion has always been to do missions work and to encourage women all over the world.  The fact that I now have the opportunity to do so, and self-fund myself as an entrepreneur with this company, is an open door from God. The fact that I can also bless my friends and family by saving them money on 4 & 5* dream vacations/holidays, if they choose to take advantage of it, is a bonus.

How do I balance everything?images (2)

1) I Make time for God. I wake up every morning at 5:00am to spend time seeking God and then I plan my days activities. The network marketing industry in particular, is tough and can be self consuming.  This is the most important part of my day. God first!

2) Spend time with family and friends when possible. When you are focused on your dream everyone won’t understand the amount of time you put into it and may even think you don’t care about them anymore.  Yes, work hard and stay focused but do your best to also make time for those you care about even if it’s one day. If your family and friends really know you they will understand and even support you.  Keep the doors of communication open.

3) Surround yourself with people on the same mission as you and with those that encourage and believe in you;

4) Manage your time wisely. If it’s not taking you closer to your purpose or dream becoming a reality, why are you doing it? As I write this I am going into my second week of watching no television (a big sacrifice for me lol). However, me watching television is not getting me any closer to my dream. This applies to relationships and any other social activities.

5) Have a day off (even God rested);

6) Stay focused, NEVER quit and work hard.

I appreciate that not all of my followers are Christians. This post is really to encourage all of us to make sure that whatever we’re doing we are doing it for the right reasons. Whether you have a faith or not, the intention of every human heart should be to serve and give to others and not for selfish gain. Even if our purposes differ we should respect and honour the call of God on each other’s lives and even go a step further and show support and interest. Ultimately everything I do is to bring glory to God. That is, and always will be, my first intention and goal.

imagesK6DX36A3If you’re an entrepreneur, I salute you because it’s not easy. If you are a female entrepreneur, big kudos to you for doing everything else that is expected of a woman and still finding the time to run a business. If you are a faith-believing, female entrepreneur, in the network marketing industry, I bow down to you lol. If your experience is anything like mine, I know it’s not easy. But I commend you for going against the tide, being brave enough to stand alone sometimes and committing to the purpose, vision and dream God has placed on your life.

Are you a female entrepreneur? Do you find that there is conflict between your faith and your Network Marketing business? Has your experience been positive or negative? How do you balance everything? I’d love to hear your feedback, please comment below.

Leancia 🙂 x

The Struggle of A Christian Entrepreneur Part 1

God v business

 

In May 2014 last year a friend introduced me to an idea that I can honestly say has impacted my life in a way that I never thought anything could. By far, having the most incredible relationship with the best man in the entire world, since I was 14 years old, beats anything else (easy ladies, I’m talking about Jesus. If you don’t know him I would definitely recommend that you get to know him this year, he won’t disappoint), but this idea has really impacted me.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a real passion for travelling.  My dream is to travel the world, help people and encourage women to be whoever they want to be without apology. That is it; that is my dream.

Uganda Mission Trip, May 2014

Uganda May 2014

So when my friend shared this idea with me, I didn’t quite understand what it was at first, but I was very intrigued, especially knowing that I could fulfil two of my dreams: travel and help people. After speaking with the highest earning female in the company outside of the USA and Asia, and simply because I trusted my friend (that was the defining part), I decided to have a go. I had nothing to lose, except an unfulfilled dream. All I can say is that it has been the ride of my life to date and I am so glad I said yes.  I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve been frustrated and I’ve most definitely questioned whether this is what God put me on earth to do. But after much prayer and seeking advice, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I was created for. Because of this idea I get to fulfil God’s calling on my life; this idea is allowing me to do what I always dreamed of, but wasn’t sure how.

Company training event in Amsterdam June

Business training event in Amsterdam June 2014

So I bet you’re asking ‘what is this idea?’ I won’t be sharing that in this post, but I will say at the very least if you want to travel and meet incredible people from all over the world, this might be for you. Anyway, I am an entrepreneur within two big industries, travel and network marketing.  Since being introduced to this idea, I have often felt embarrassed to say that this is what I do as a Christian woman.  There were two major reasons for this: 1) the lack of encouragement, outrage at times, and rejection I have received, and 2) the realisation that there are very few Christian (Bible-believing, filled with the Holy Spirit) entrepreneurs involved in network marketing that I’m aware of. If they are out there, they aren’t being very vocal about their journey and experience. It seems that the network marketing industry has earned a bad name for itself and so distributers are very ‘hush hush’ about it. My hope with this post is that I can bring some insight, because now that I’m in it, I believe that I have a responsibility to help people understand that you can be a Christian Network Marketing entrepreneur. I believe that it can be redeemed.

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In my next post I will share more of my experience and tell you how I balance my new entrepreneur life, relationships and my faith. In the meantime I’d love to hear your experience and thoughts, please comment below.

Leancia 🙂 x

Fatherless child, fatherless woman

father

In the UK today there are approximately two million single mothers, that’s at least two million children growing up without a father figure in their home; I was one of those children.

Not so long ago I would’ve been called a ‘bastard’ child because my mother was not married and to throw a spanner in the works she was also,a teenager when I was born. I didn’t think it was strange that my mom and I lived with my grandparents and uncle, it was all I knew; this was my family. During those formative years I can count the number of times that I saw my father; the only men I really knew were my uncle and grandfather. I just need to say that these men are my heroes and the first examples of men that I saw; I honour them for their love, guidance and example.

It was in my teenage years that I started to become aware of the impact that my absent father had on me. Yes, my uncle and grandfather were around often, but it wasn’t the same. When I heard my friends talk about their dads and the things they did as a family, I started to realise that my family wasn’t that ‘normal’ after all. I can’t say that I missed him, because it’s hard to miss someone that was never in your life to begin with; what I missed was the idea of having a dad in my home. The idea of having a dad who would sit me on his knee and tell me how special and beautiful I was, who would take me to the park and pick me up from school. It was these experiences that my friends had and I saw on TV, that I never had the opportunity to experience. My mom was and still is my greatest example of a woman that is willing to sacrifice for others. She has the most generous, loving and hospitable heart. Only a strong woman can do that without resentment or bitterness, I honour her more than any other. However, she is not my father, she is my mother and that is what she is supposed to be.

I became a Christian when I was 14 years old even though I was at church every Sunday with my grandmother. It was at this time that I began to understand that I wasn’t a fatherless child and that God was a very real and present father that loved me unconditionally. However, although I was beginning to understand this, it was hard for me to experience and accept what it meant in reality. Let’s keep it real, I couldn’t see him with my physical eyes and He couldn’t exactly walk me down the aisle when I got married; it just wasn’t real enough for me.

I have always wanted to know what it would be like to have the protection of a father, to be able to say: “I’m going to get my Dad and he’ll beat up your dad” but I never could. I think that most little girls would say they want or wanted their dad to protect and look out for them. As I grew older the need for someone to protect and care for me slowly became unnecessary. My attitude was I have lived this long without a constant male figure in my life I don’t need one now, even though this was what I craved. For me personally the rejection I felt from my father’s absence influenced how I related to men in relationships; I would become very needy and any hint of rejection would literally devastate me, I just didn’t know how to relate to men in a positive and healthy way. I believed that it was my responsibility to make them happy and please them so that they would not leave.

It is only because of the grace and love of God that I can say that I am stronger, not needy and more secure in the love that my father God has for me. There are times when I still long for the hug from a father or simply a male friend. Men and fathers I ask and encourage you to protect and cover the women you know; if you are a Christian understand that we need our male friends to be examples of godly men that know how to honour, respect and protect us without a hidden agenda. I have learnt to accept the love of my heavenly father and ultimately realise that he can meet all my needs. I have started the process of forgiving my natural father and do not blame him for the decisions I’ve made in my life (I am not a victim).

My hope is that you too will know the unconditional, unwavering and lavishing love of father God because the truth is HE really does love YOU. I have been on a long journey to understand with my mind and embrace with my heart the truth that I was never a fatherless child and I am not fatherless woman.

That’s why He is my Lord 🙂 xx

32, Christian and Single

32, Christian and Single

Yep, this is me, this isn’t the core of who I am, but it’s a huge part that describes my current reality. Do I like this reality? Sometimes, but for the most part no, to be totally honest for the most part I hate my current status (except the Christian part of course).  However, it is my reality and one that I am learning to manage. Let’s get something clear from the get go, yes, I want to be married and no, I haven’t been intentionally looking… ‘Well how do you expect to find a husband then?’  I don’t expect to find anything. The Bible says ‘He that finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favour from the Lord’…I am the prize; it is not my responsibility to search.  This doesn’t mean that I’m just chilling at home twiddling my thumbs, or that I’m not aware of who’s around me; I am very aware of my surroundings, I just refuse to act thirsty – that is not attractive.  I truly believe that if a man is interested in you he will do whatever it takes to make his intentions CLEAR and pursue. I might look 10 years younger than I am (Black don’t crack), but I am too old for games and at this point in my life I know exactly who I want to find me and no I will not be sharing that info in this blog 🙂

I hope that my journey helps you to make some positive decisions, take your focus off yourself and realise that as great as marriage is, it’s not the be all and end all of you.  I will not be giving any tips on what YOU should do, I will not patronise you or your capability to find out what works for you, but I will say be honest with yourself. I am not speaking on behalf of all Christian, single women; I can only share what has worked and is working for me.  I really don’t think you need another 10 step process on how to cope with being single; I am not an expert on this subject I am only an expert on my singleness.

At the age of 32 I didn’t think that I would be where I am now, my ten year plan didn’t look like this, by now I should be married with two children, a house in the Caribbean and my own business. One year I was certain that God told me I would meet my husband that particular year. Now I’m not one of those Christians who throw around the ‘God said…’ cliché flippantly…but I was so sure.  It never happened and I began to question whether I heard God at all. Maybe I wanted it so badly that I imagined it? Or maybe God changed his mind? All of these questions and more played through my mind and I started to believe that I was the problem, what was wrong with me? There was/is nothing wrong with me or you! I’ve learnt that singleness is not a curse unless you let it be.

I used to pray: “Lord if it’s not your desire for me to be married, fine, then please take away the desire so I can focus on serving you wholeheartedly’. What a great, spiritual prayer right? Although sincere it was bogus! This was my attempt to find an escape route from the pain; I just didn’t want to be lonely or single anymore. Now, I know the Bible scriptures that talk about ‘two is better than one’ and ‘it is not good for man to be alone’; I am 32, Christian and single not 32, illiterate and single; I would guess that many Christian, single women know these scriptures and agree, that’s why we want to be married!  I am not looking for a boyfriend, I am ‘actively waiting’ on God for my husband by living and loving life while learning and deepening my relationship with God and myself.

This is how I manage myself now, although this is not an exhaustive list:

I am ruthlessly honest with God about how I feel;

I protect my time and I’m intentional about what I do with it and where I go, I do things that I love often;

I focus on my passions: Missions and women, and anything else that fuels those passions;

I spend time with both my single and married friends as often as possible (or as often as married friends allow);

I pray for my husband;

I dress for where I’m going; I am preparing myself now for where I want to be, asking myself questions like: what have I got to offer to a marriage?

I’m not saying that because I do these things I never feel lonely or that the desire to be married suddenly disappears, I’m saying that we have to be intentional with our lives as we wait.

To all my single ladies and guys enjoy, embrace and be content with where you are. Being single is not a death sentence it can be an awesome adventure if you WANT it to be. Change your mind, change your life!

Happy Valentine’s Day!