I have become more aware of the triggers that heighten those feelings of not feeling beautiful and I have had to actively say and do things to counterbalance those feelings when they arise. I understand that comparison is a killer to the human soul. I have learnt the importance of self talk and what I say about myself and what I allow others to say to me. I find it very interesting that when you speak highly of yourself how uncomfortable people feel. Because I have spent so many years not thinking highly of myself, I now not only think so but say so too; I have had to change my confession. Why? Because I don’t want to get my validation from anyone else or wait or rely on someone else to tell me truths that I should already know about myself. As David did in 1 Samuel 30:6 when he ‘Encouraged himself in the Lord’. I need to be able to know and call out the greatness and strength within me when I’m feeling discouraged or not beautiful, before I seek that from anyone else. What is surprising and what I’ve noticed is that you don’t always get a positive or encouraging response from people when you do this. The reason for this, I think, is because we don’t feel like that about ourselves. Before we jump straight to the negative we need to stop, think and examine what is being said and who is saying it and consider how we can continue to help and call out those truths that people are recognising and calling out of themselves. I make no apologies for speaking about myself how God speaks about me.
I heard a saying once that goes something like ‘beauty doesn’t need to declare it’s beautiful, it just is’. I love this statement because I use to and sometimes still catch myself feeling the need to perform or make myself be seen. Now when and if I ever feel this happening I sit down and take a seat, I don’t mean literally but it can be that too. It’s that feeling of wanting to show up, not show up in the context of being vulnerable but to show up and show off. In those moments I remind myself ‘you are beautiful you don’t need to declare it’ or ‘you are good enough you don’t need to prove it’.
I do not want to marry a man as good looking and funny as Will Smith (I love that guy lol) but is selfish, has no character, and doesn’t realise that the content and intention of my heart is more important than how I look first thing in the morning. As much as I take value in my appearance and health, my priority is first to ensure that I represent Jesus well and love others as I love myself.
Understand there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and making yourself look presentable, I am all for that, I am talking about making that the basis and primary focus that we first judge people and make decisions on i.e. she’ll make a good wife or he’ll make a good husband, without making getting to know them the first priority.
In closing, ladies you ARE beautiful! In my opinion there is a difference between being pretty and beautiful. I would rather be beautiful because it not only talks about the external but truly speaks of the essence of a person. Your beauty is not determined by the length or texture of your hair, the shape or size of your nose (or any other body part for that matter), or whether you wear Armani or Primark clothes. This is not an excuse to dress drab unless you want to of course; this is an encouragement and rite of passage to be your own kind of beautiful. Just because you do not fit into society’s norm of ‘beauty’ that does not make you any less beautiful. This blog is a message to ALL women to value, love accept who you are and know that you are worthy of love and belonging.
My confession is no longer I am NOT beautiful. My confession is ‘Body and soul, I am marvellously made’ (Psalm 139:14 – MSG). After all HE created me and he’s my Lord 🙂 xx